Hairdryer treatment
The ‘hairdryer treatment’ is a euphemism for a furious verbal assault on a player or players by a manager. The idea is that a constant stream of hot hair is blown into one’s face.
Example: “Manchester United were so bad in that first half that there is no doubt Alex Ferguson will give them the hairdryer treatment.”
Hand of God
The ‘Hand of God‘ describes a goal scored by Diego Maradona for Argentina in the quarter-final of the 1986 World Cup against England. Maradona illegally used his hand to punch the ball past England goalkeeper Peter Shilton and into the back of the net. Despite protestations, the goal was awarded.
Maradona Hand of God Goal video
Hard man
A player notorious for their tough, physical, and assertive style of football. See: Roy Keane, Gennaro Gattuso, Graeme Souness.
Hat-trick
When one player scores three goals in a single game it is known as a hat-trick. A perfect hat-trick involves the three goals being scored with the left foot, right foot and head.
Heavy metal football
The term ‘heavy metal football‘ describes the style of play implemented by German football coach Jurgen Klopp. As a style, it is high intensity and fast, involving rapid counter-attacking moves. The term was first popularised when Klopp was manager of Borussia Dortmund.
Holding role
The holding role describes a midfield position where the main objective is to protect the defence by breaking up play with tackles before initiating counter-attacks. Famous examples of a holding midfielder include Claude Makelele, N’Golo Kante and Roy Keane.
Hollywood pass
A ‘Hollywood pass’ is a pass which looks impressive, but doesn’t necessarily achieve much, such as a cross-field diagonal ball. A Hollywood involves more risk than a short pass.
Example: “Steven Gerrard is incredibly gifted, but he tries too many Hollywood passes when he should just keep it simple.”
Top long passes in football history
Hoofing the ball
To ‘hoof the ball’ is to aimlessly clear the ball out of defence instead of carefully picking a pass.
Example: “Everyone wants Ireland to play it out from the back, so why are they always hoofing the ball?”
Hospital pass
A ‘hospital pass‘ or “hospital ball” is a pass which puts the receiver at risk of being injured or places them immeditately in danger. It exposes bad decision-making on the part of the passer.
Example: “His passing is normally very accurate, but he’s sold his team-mate short there with a complete hospital pass.”
Howler
A ‘howler’ is an embarrassing mistake, usually made under little pressure. Goalkeepers are most associated with howlers, but it can happen to any player on the pitch.
Example: “What seemed like a routine pass back has turned into a nightmare situation for the goalkeeper. What a howler!”
Hug the line
The instruction given to wing players to stay closer to sidelines, especially when dribbling forward.
